If you're reading this, you might be wondering what therapy with me actually looks like. Maybe you've seen terms like CBT, ACT, or holistic therapy and aren't sure what they mean- or whether any of it is for you.
Maybe you're not even sure what you're looking for. You just know you don't feel like yourself.
I want to walk you through the approaches I draw on, why I use them, and what I hope this work can give you.
CBT: noticing the thinking traps
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) looks at how our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors affect one another. A big part of CBT is learning to spot cognitive distortions- what I like to call thinking traps, or unhelpful thinking patterns. We all fall into them.
One of the most common is catastrophizing: jumping from a small problem straight to the worst possible outcome. It might sound like this:
You send an email at work with a typo in it. Your boss doesn't reply right away, and your mind takes off. She's annoyed. She's been noticing you're not as sharp since the baby. You're going to be let go. Without your income, you can't make the mortgage. The house is gone. You're packing your life into garbage bags, buckling your baby into the car with nowhere to drive, and before you've even finished your coffee, you've pictured your family living in a ditch. All from one typo.
When we're in it, these leaps feel completely real. CBT helps us slow down, notice the pattern, and ask whether the story our mind is telling actually fits the facts.
CBT is an evidence-based treatment for perinatal mental health concerns, including anxiety and depression during pregnancy and postpartum. It's a meaningful part of how I work, and I draw on it often.
When it's not a thinking trap
Here's what I've noticed through my work: there's a gap. Sometimes it isn't a thinking trap at all. Sometimes this stage- and life in general- is just really, incredibly hard.
The sleepless nights, the identity shifts, the mental load, the relationships changing around you. Not every hard feeling is a distortion to be corrected. Some of it is a completely reasonable response to a lot.
That's where Acceptance and Commitment Therapy comes in.
ACT: making room for what's hard
What I love about Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is that it allows space for the hard to be true- without putting the blame on our thinking patterns.
ACT helps us come to a place of acceptance, even in really challenging circumstances. Acceptance doesn't mean we like our situation. It means we can come to terms with it, and still choose to live in a way that's aligned with how we want to live our lives.
All of this is rooted in values. Together, we get clear on what matters most to you, and look at how you engage with the world, with yourself, and with the people around you. From there, you can make choices that move you toward the life you want, even when circumstances are messy.
Self-compassion is at the heart of it
Throughout this work, we don't forget that what you're going through is hard. And you deserve to be gentle with yourself.
What I've seen in myself and in the women I work with is that we are often our own worst critics. The things we say to ourselves are incredibly unfair and cruel. They're things we would never say to the mom next door, our sister, our best friend- really, anyone but us.
Part of our work is learning to speak to yourself the way you'd speak to someone you love.
The holistic piece: Reiki and yoga
For those who are interested, I also bring in holistic practices. This part is always optional.
In my own life, Reiki and yoga have been instrumental in how I've navigated this stage of life. I believe they help us become the present, integrated version of ourselves. They support the adjustment to who we're becoming as we become moms. For those experiencing perinatal mental health disorders, the holistic approach in tandem with therapy is incredibly powerful.
Talk therapy can focus a lot on our thoughts. Holistic practices help us care for the whole of us: our body, our mind, our inner knowing, our spirit. I believe therapy that takes all of these into account is the most meaningful kind of therapy.
What I hope for you
I want to be honest about what this work is (and isn't.) Becoming a mom is a lifelong process of becoming. There's no end date. So what you won't get from me is a promise that you'll reach self-actualization and never need support or to work on yourself again.
What I hope is that you get to a place where you feel like yourself again. Maybe not your old self, but the new version of you. A place where you're living by your values, building a meaningful life, and feeling in control- instead of being jerked around by your circumstances or your thoughts.
I've worked with so many women who came to me saying, "I don't even know if this is for me," or "I don't know if I can feel better, maybe this is just how things are now." Many didn't know what they were looking for- they just didn't feel like themselves.
I've watched those same women come to trust that they can handle the ups and downs of life on their own. They're thriving, not just surviving.
If any of this sounds like you, I'd love to talk. You can schedule a free 15-minute consultation to see if working together feels like the right fit.
